High Paid : Mattress Carrier Wanted

It seems like we have a very high-paid part time job awaiting for all Malaysian..
Yeah...... as a mattress carrier ..
Thanks to Anwar Ibrahim or Najib or Pak Lah.. I donno ; you decide by yourselves : who you want to thank to !!

Sokongan Moral utk Tunang Saiful : Janna

Utk pertama kalinya; saya berasa teragak-agak utk memaparkan post saya ini...
Apakah betul Anwar Ibrahim seorang peliwat ?
Apakah ini satu konspirasi jahat utk menjatuhkan karier politik Anwar Ibrahim ?
Apakah ini satu sandiwara yg dilakonkan oleh Anwar Ibrahim sendiri utk menaikkan imej beliau dan seterusnya menikam UMNO , serampang dua mata ...

Yg paling memeranjatkan ialah penglibatan tunang si-Saiful ini , tak pasal-pasal diheretkan dlm konspirasi/ sandiwara yg tidak kena-mengena dengan beliau..
Jika saudara ingin memberi sokongan moral kpd Janna...
Ini lah blog beliau ... Janna Mohd Zaki..

Tetapi awas , jangan cuba menghina beliau , kerana beliau ialah mangsa dalam hal ini.
Link itu diberi bukan bertujuan utk mengaibkan beliau... tetapi utk memberi sokongan moral !!!!

小幽默，大智慧

幽默的美国人

律师的太太对丈夫说：“咱们的房子和家俱的样式都太陈旧了，该重新装修一下了。”

律师：“你别急，我刚好接了一件离婚案，男方是个有钱的大亨。等我拆散了他们家，就来装修咱们家。”

大智慧。。。

如果法律成为某些人用以获取利益的工具的时候，它的危害性就会超过普通的一般犯罪。

出风头

“昨天在剧场里我看见了您的夫人。她咳嗽咳的好严重，以致大家都在看她。她是感冒了吧？”

“没有，你没看见她穿了一件漂亮的貂皮大衣吗？”

大智慧。。。

当人以夸张的方式试图引人注意的时候，反而让人看不到其所想展现的方面。

倒楣

“天啊！你的冰淇淋里掉进了一只苍蝇！”

“算它倒楣，它会被冻死的！”

大智慧。。。

站在不同的立场，可以得出不同的结论，好事可以变坏事，坏事也可以变好事。最重要的是拥有一份好的心态。

I Miss You So Much !!

Reasons behind paying civil servants twice a month

What would happen when your government dont have enough money to pay the goverment servant salary ?
Well; First ; break the payment into twice per month.

15th of the particular month, pay the salary ...
then...
issue traffic saman , saman malu , saman buang sampah merata-rata, saman meludah , saman kedai kopi naik harga , saman kedai runcit naik harga , saman-menyaman ..
until....
hooray , enough money to pay for the other half of the salary...

OK... now , what would happen to next month...
continue ...

issue traffic saman , saman malu , saman buang sampah merata-rata, saman meludah , saman kedai kopi naik harga , saman kedai runcit naik harga , saman-menyaman ..

** ini merupakan khayalan semata-mata selepas pekena nasi kandar D'kayu.. Jika ada kebetulan , harap maaf . Tiada niat utk mengaitkan dgn mereka-mereka samada yg masih sihat walafiat , hidup mahupun yg sudah berada di alam barzakh.....

Amazing : Lincoln and Kennedy

Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
亞伯拉罕‧林肯在 1846 年當選美國國會議員進入國會
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.
約翰‧甘迺迪在 1946 年當選美國國會議員進入國會

Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
亞伯拉罕‧林肯在 1860 年當選美國總統
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.
約翰‧甘迺迪在 1960 年當選美國總統


Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.

他們二人都非常關注民權
Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.
他們二人的夫人都曾在入主白宮時期失去過她們的孩子

Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
兩位總統都在星期五遇刺
Both Presidents were shot in the head
兩位總統都在頭部中槍

Now it gets really weird.
現在要說的才真不可思議

Lincoln 's secretary was named Kennedy.
林肯的秘書名字叫做甘迺迪
Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln .
甘迺迪的秘書名字叫做林肯

Both were assassinated by Southerners.
兩位總統都被美國南方人刺殺
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.
兩人遇刺身亡後總統繼任者都是南方人而且都姓詹森

Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln , was born in 1808.
林肯的繼任者安德魯‧詹森出生於1808年
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.
甘迺迪的繼任者林登‧詹森出生於1908年




John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln , was born in 1839.
暗殺林肯的刺客約翰‧沃克斯‧布斯生於1839年
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.
暗殺甘迺迪的刺客李‧哈維‧奧斯華生於1939年



Both assassins were known by their three names.
廣為人知的是兩名刺客的名字都有三個字
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.
兩個人的名字都由十五個字母組成

Now hang on to your seat.
現在坐好你(妳)的椅子

Lincoln was shot at the theater named 'Ford.'
林肯是在名字叫做′福特′的戲院被暗殺的
Kennedy was shot in a car called ' Lincoln ' made by 'Ford.'
甘迺迪是在′福特′汽車公司生產的′林肯′牌轎車上被暗殺的

Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin ran and hid in a warehouse.
刺客在戲院裡暗殺林肯後逃走躲進一間倉庫裡
Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in a theater.
刺客躲在倉庫裡暗殺甘迺迪後逃走躲進一間戲院裡


Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.
兩名刺客都在審判前被刺殺

And here's the kicker...
最厲害的是...

A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe , Maryland
林肯在遇刺前一周曾待在馬里蘭州夢露市
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.
甘迺迪在遇刺前一周曾和瑪莉蓮‧夢露在一起




Creepy huh? Hey, this is one history lesson most people probably will not mind reading!
驚悚吧?這是一堂大多數人都不介意去讀的歷史課!

Confession

A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work.

Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly , sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch.

The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet , not realizing that the little boy is in there already.

The little boy says , "Dark in here."
The man says , "Yes , it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball."
Man - "That's nice."
Boy - "Want to buy it?"
Man - "No , thanks."
Boy - "My dad's outside."
Man - "OK , how much?"
Boy - "$150"
Man - "Sold."

In the next few weeks , it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together.

Boy - "Dark in here."
Man - "Yes , it is."
Boy - "I have a Wilson infielder's glove."
The lover , remembering the last time , asks the boy , "How much?"
Boy - "$350"
Man - "Highway robbery. Sold."

A few days later , the father says to the boy , "Grab your gloves , let's go outside and have a game of catch."

The boy says , "I can't , I sold my ball and my glove."
The father asks , "How much did you sell them for?"
The boy says , "$500"

The father says , "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that... That is way more than those two things cost.

I'm going to take you to church and make you confess your greed."
They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.

The boy says , "Dark in here."
The priest says , "Don't start that shit again , you're in my closet now.

農場的故事

讓我說個農場的故事﹐讓你知道什麼是國陣說的"津貼"。。。 在一個農場裡﹐每天可以生產 10粒蘋果。農場裡有 5個工人和 1個場主﹐總共 6個人。他們每天一人吃一粒蘋果﹐就足夠維持農場裡 的運作﹐所以還有剩下4粒蘋果。 場主把這4粒蘋果賣了﹐一粒 RM10。結果賺了 RM40。場主把這RM40拿來提昇農場裡的所有設施﹐設備﹐但是一天最多也需要 RM25 罷了。多出的 RM10就拿來發給5個工人﹐每人有 RM2。還有 RM5拿來當作自己的盈利。 日子這樣下去﹐這個農場就變得很先進而且工人的住宿和環境都是一流的。5個工人也存了一筆錢。 但是不久這個好場主去世了﹐來了個新場主。新場主說﹕"我們要提昇農場素質﹐要有一流的思維。現在你們吃的蘋果﹐需要給 RM1.00。 但是你想想﹐這是很便宜的﹐你去外面買蘋果一粒要 RM10叻﹗" 工人沒辦法﹐就繼續做工和每天給 RM1.00 來吃他們以前每天吃的免費蘋果。結果他們現在每天只得到 RM1.00。 現在﹐新場主還是把多餘的 4粒蘋果拿去賣﹐賺了 RM40﹐還是像從前一樣﹐RM25拿來提昇設施﹐RM10就拿來發給5個工人﹐RM5拿 來當作自己的盈利﹐再來﹐現在那5粒蘋果他賣給工人﹐賺了 RM5.00。現在他共有每天RM10.00盈利。 ######################################################################################################## 不久﹐蘋果售價突然大漲了一倍﹐外面售價 RM20一粒。現在新場主還是把多餘的 4粒蘋果拿去賣﹐大賺了 RM80。 農場的設施提昇工程現在換了是新場主的朋友承包。新場主的朋友說﹐蘋果售價大漲﹐設施提昇工程的費用也要漲價了﹐變成 RM50。 其實真正費用才 RM30﹐新場主把多出來的 RM20和他的朋友平分。 現在新場主有﹐ RM10 (和他的朋友平分的提昇工程費) RM20 的盈利(RM80-RM50-RM10=RM20) RM5 的賣蘋果給自己員工賺的錢。 總共是RM35.00。比起以前的RM10﹐ 新場主多賺了RM25.00﹗! 哇﹗﹗﹗暴利叻﹐蘋果售價突然大漲﹐農場賺多了 RM25.00。但是工人還是每天只賺取RM1.00。 但是﹐貪心的新場主卻招來 5位員工﹐對他們說﹐"你們看看﹐蘋果現在的市場售價是 RM20 一粒﹐但是你們卻用 RM1.00 來買一粒蘋果﹐你看你們多幸運﹗" "我就辛苦了﹐我需要津貼你們每人 RM19.00﹐總共 RM95.00 來給你們蘋果吃啊﹐你看農場的津貼負擔多麼的重﹗" "農場真的很辛苦了﹐再這樣下去﹐農場會破產﹐倒閉。現在我賣你們每粒蘋果 RM1.50 吧﹐我辛苦一點來津貼RM18.50。" 那麼現在新場主的暴利又增加了﹐RM20 + RM10 + RM7.50 = RM37.50。又賺多了RM2.50。這 RM2.50 是從哪裡賺來的﹖ 就是從自己工人的口袋賺來的。