Where is ANY key ??

Ermm.. will this question came from Malaysia's Cabinet .. u know laa.. they dont even have email....

Minister of Double Standard

via The Sun : The Cabinet's decision to open up international schools to more Malaysian students was to allow parents more options for their children's education, Deputy Prime Minister Datuk Seri Najib Razak said.

Cheh.. open up international schools is more option , open up more vernacular school { SRJK (C) , SRJK (T) }, which using the same syllabus sekolah kebangsaan is consider as dangerous move that will destroy national unity .... where is the logical ? can anyone let me know ?

Funny Chinese Name

True story !

BOMB at AMBANK,KLANG ?

BOMB at AMBANK,KLANG ? ?
How true is this ? anyone can verify ?
via: my doggie life v6

"11.30 am - Police surrounds AmBank, Klang suspecting a bomb in the bank. Rumours started from Hokkien Association, Klang, to Standard Chartered Bank, Klang (neighbour to AmBank). Now it's said to be in AmBank!!! Evacuations have been done. Workers, passerbys all flock to Jalan Kepayang to catch a glimpse of this 'movie-pack' action. "

18SX+Mathematic problem

A Mother is 21 years older that her son, and in six years time the child
will be 5 times younger that her.

Question: Where is the father?

Don't run away, this question has a mathematical answer; it isn't as hard
as it seems!
Do not look to the answer; you have to do some calculations.
You have to pay special attention to the question Where is the father?
If you do not want to work, just go to the end and read the answer, but it is a good memory nudge to try.

To find the solution we have to make use of Algebra as follows:

Solution:

The child is now X years old and the mother is Y.
We know that the mother is 21 years older therefore

X+21=Y

We know that in six years time the child will be 5 times younger that the mother.
Then:

5 (X+ 6) = Y + 6

We Replace Y by X + 21 and proceed to simplify:

5 (X + 6) = X + 21 + 6
5X + 30 = X + 27
5X - X = 27 - 30
4X = -3
X = -3/4

The child is now -3/4 of a year, which is equal to -9 months.

We managed to mathematically demonstrate that the mother is at this moment is actually making love.

Then the answer is?
The father is on top of the mother.

Jokes on Teacher ? No laa

It is Teacher's Day tomorrow... so... some jokes for all of u !!

TEACHER : What is the chemical formula for water?
PAPPU : "HIJKLMNO! "!!
TEACHER : What are you talking about?
PAPPU : Yesterday you said it's H to O !

***-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- **

TEACHER : PAPPU, go to the map and find North America.
PAPPU : Here it is!
TEACHER : Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS : PAPPU!

***-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-** **

TEACHER : PAPPU, how do you spell "crocodile"?
PAPPU : "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER : No, that's wrong
PAPPU : Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!

***-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- **

TEACHER : PAPPU, give me a sentence starting with "I".
PAPPU : I is...
TEACHER : No, PAPPU. Always say, "I am."
PAPPU : All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

how "small" is "small" ?

Teacher, teacher... how "small" is "small" ?
err.... dont know leh... let me ask our MP of Jasin:

Jasin MP Datuk Mohd Said Yusof: "We are a small company. Our office is like a petition writer’s office... small."

Do you know how small been define in his mind ?
look at this so called "small office" that like a petition writer's office.

via: NST

18PL & 18SX: Dating Game

Warning: These maybe annoying, please prepared and do not scold me of course......
18PL and 18SX

AMERICAN WOMEN
First date: You get to kiss her goodnight.
Second date: You get to grope her all over and make out.
Third date: You get to have sex in the missionary position.
Then you promise to marry her but will probably abandon the idea.

JAPANESE WOMEN
First date: She's shy, so you don't get to kiss her at all.
Second date: She'll take a bath in front of you and let you smell her panties.
Third date: You get to have kinky sex with her.
Then she'll bid you sayonara, as that was her last fling as she's getting married to a Japanese man tomorrow.

MALAY WOMEN
First date: You get to touch that big breast of hers.
Second date: You get to home base with her.
Third date: You have to promise her that you are gonna
get circumcised.
Then you will marry her and find out that you have to support her whole family.
The only consolation is that you get to repeat the procedure three more times as allowed under Islamic law!

CHINESE WOMEN
First date: You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothing happens.
Second date: You buy her an even more expensive dinner but nothing happens too.
Third date: You have already realised that nothing's going to happen.

INDIAN WOMEN
First date: You meet her parents.
Second date: The date is set for the wedding.
Third date: It's your wedding night!

5C's to the newer 5B's!

Well, here is something to link the 5C's to the newer 5B's!

I don't need a CAR, but I want a BMW
I don't need a CONDO, but I want a BUNGALOW
I don't need you to have CASH but I want you to own a BANK
I don't need you to have a CAREER but I want you to be a BOSS

It's interesting for you to read!

Most of you would have heard of the Singapore 5C's! :
Car, Condo, Credit Card (Gold), Cash and Career
Heard of the 5B's?

B - BMW
B - Body
B - Brain
B - Billionaire
B - Bungalow

And addition with the 5K's.

Kiasu (scared of losing)
Kiasee (scared of dying)
Kiabor (scared of wife)
Kiaboh (scared of having nothing)
Kiachenghu (scared of government)

updated: some comment from visitor
"that is what girl look in guys.... guys will look at:

breast/boobs
butt
blond
body
bed skill
(please...no brain)"

How to tolong sendiri

First , Jasin parliamentarian Mohd Said asked the Customs Department to "close one eye" on the illegal import of sawn timber by a company named "Binyu Sof Enterprise".
Tutup sebelah mata laa, Datuk...

Then , Jasin parliamentarianMohd Said in recent days has reiterated that he had only intervened in his capacity as an MP and that he was "helping a Bumiputera company in trouble". Tolong orang laaa.....

Jasin parliamentarian Mohd Said Yusof today admitted that his company Binyu Sof Enterprise was the forwarding agency for a seized consignment of illegal timber.
Tolong sendiri ??

So,,,,,,, helping "bumiputra" means helping himself ?
You all cleverer than me.. judge it yourself.
but do hope that you won't blame him on this...
MP pun nak cari makan jugak.... kesian laa kat saya !!

via: NST , MalaysiaKini

Eat what ??

Going to Langkawi next week... going to buy what ??

Can't eat Beef, Mad cow....
Can't eat chicken . bird flu
Can't eat eggs ... Salmonella
Can't eat pork ... fears that bird flu will infect piggies
Can't eat fish .. heavy metals in the waters has poisoned their meat
Can't eat fruits and veggies... insecticides and herbicides

Hmmmmmmmmm

I believe that leaves Chocolate!!!!!!!
Remember,
"STRESSED"
spelled backwards is
" DESSERTS

List of Rules during World Cup June/July

I wonder, will anyone listed out these rules for their wife or girlfriend during this world cup fever period ?

Extremely important advice and recommendations to be passed on to wives, girlfriends, fiancés, mothers, sisters, daughters, etc.
(to all women in general) These rules are to be communicated prior to the World Cup in June/July this year...

LIST OF RULES

From 9th June to 9th July 2006, you should read the sports section of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the World Cup, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail to do this, then you willbe looked at in a bad way, or you will be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.

During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you will lose it (your eye).

If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don’t mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me. If you decide to stand nude in front of the TV, make sure you put clothes on right after because if you catch a cold, I wont have time to take you to the doctor or look after you during the World Cup month.

During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell from the second floor... it wont happen.

It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.

Please, please, please!! if you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say “get over it, its only a game”, or “don’t worry, they’ll win next time”. If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less.

Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so called “words of encouragement” will only lead to a break up or divorce.

You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only if the halftime score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying “one” game, hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to “spend time together”.

The replays of the goals are very important. I don’t care if I have seen them or I haven’t seen them, I want to see them again. Many times.

Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because:
I will not go,
I will not go, and
I will not go.
But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.

The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying “but you have already seen this...why don’t you change the channel to something we
can all watch??”, the reply will be: “Refer to Rule #2 of this list”.

And finally, please save your expressions such as “Thank God the World Cup is only every 4 years”. I am immune to these words, because after this comes the Champions League, Premier League, Italian League, Spanish League, etc etc.

Thank you for your co-operation.
Regards,
Men of the World

Project Kantoi

For whom who work in Intel..
hehehehhe please dont scold me..
anyway, mind to share how many projects have been kantoi ?
oppss... share dropping now......

The last dialogue should be:
You must be work with Malaysian Government, since a lots of the Malaysia's mega project all kantoi half-way ( some not even started yet, such as the 2 Batang tiang: Jambatan Bengkok: project )

My Lord.. pls build bridge

A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. Suddenly the
sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said,
"Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish."

The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want."
The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources.
I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a
little more time and think of something that would honor and glorify me."

The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said,
"Lord, I wish that I could understand my wife. I want to know
how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she
cries, what she means when she says 'nothing's wrong,' and how I can make a woman truly happy."

The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"

Your Blood Group Information

Blood type and Rh	How many people have it?
O +	40 %
O -	7 %
A +	34 %
A -	6 %
B +	8 %
B -	1 %
AB +	3 %
AB -	1 %

The Rules from Male

First of all , I would like to clarify that....
this is not my idea and may not represent my stand-point:

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules
from the male side. These are our rules. Please note... these are all
numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don't try to
change that.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl.
If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear
us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:

* Subtle hints do not work!
* Strong hints do not work!
* Obvious hints do not work!
* JUST SAY IT!

1. 'Yes' and 'No' are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's
what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.
See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In
fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it
done, not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it
yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach,
for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have
no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the
hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer
you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine,
Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss such topics as:

* Sex,
* Sport, or
* Cars

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

The History of the Middle Finger

Well, now ... here's something I never knew before, and now that I know it, I feel compelled to tell you in the hope that you too will feel edified.

Isn't history more fun when you know something about it?

Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured English soldiers.

Without the middle finger it would be impossible to draw the renowned English longbow and therefore they would be incapable of fighting in the future. This famous English longbow was made of the native English Yew tree, and the act of drawing the longbow was known as "plucking the yew" (or "pluck yew").

Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset and began mocking the French by waving their middle fingers at the defeated French, saying, See, we can still pluck yew!

Since 'pluck yew' is rather difficult to say, the difficult consonant cluster at the beginning has gradually changed to a labiodentals fricative F', and thus the words often used in conjunction with the one-finger-salute!

It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows used with the longbow that the symbolic gesture is known as "giving the bird."

IT IS STILL AN APPROPRIATE SALUTE TO THE FRENCH TODAY!

And yew thought yew knew every plucking thing!

Petrol Price Reduced by Over 30%

Yaaa !! Hooray !!!
Opss.. not at Malaysia laa.... aiyoo..

Petrol Price Reduced by Over 30%

JEDDAH, 1 May 2006 — Custodian of the Two Holy Mosques King Abdullah yesterday ordered petrol price in the Kingdom slashed by more than 30 percent from 90 to 60 halalas per liter, the Saudi Press Agency reported last night.

“In order to improve the living standard of citizens and for the public good, we have ordered that the price of one liter of petrol for the consumer be changed to 60 halalas instead of 90 halalas until Dec. 31, 2006,” a Royal Decree issued by the king said.

The greatest invention ever since the "kamasutra" !

Your "loved" one always "ngee-ngee ngor-ngor" to you , complaining that you have spent less time with her /him ?
And you already beh-tahan ( trak bole tahan oredi ) ... and wish that some one can help you ?
Nah...
here is a design that will help you improve your life and your relationship between you and your loved one....
The greatest invention ever since the "kamasutra" !!