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Tuesday, October 31, 2006

How Mahathir Know about KJ

 
Mahathir said that Pak Lah being advised by his Son-In-Law and the gang..
how he knew that ?
Ohh... see this :

No Wonder laa...

Change every old stuff

 
We need to catch up with today's modern technology..
Old type of office must be upgraded..
Change the type writer to PC..
Change every old stuff.. Yaa... everythings..
They really meant it !!!


Hairy Sexy

 

Fuiyoo... finally successfully get someone to do some hairy sexy advertising for the "AskForFun" blog.
Nowaday, everything also need good marketing skill, cannot kedekut liao..
So how ? Do you like the poster ?
hehhehe.. hairy sexy leh !!!
Will this be sensored ?

The Bishop and the donkey

 
The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pastor was sopleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and it won again.
The local paper read: ..... PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT.

The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.
The next day, the localpaper headline read:BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS.

This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.
The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline thenext day:NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.

The Bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey,so she sold it to a farmer for $10.
The next day the paper read:NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.

This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back thedonkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.
The next day the headlines read:NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.

At last, the Bishop was buried the next day.

MORAL OF THE STORY?
Being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery and even shorten your life. So, be yourself and enjoy life .. stop worrying about everyone else's ass and you'll live longer and be a lots happier!

Sunday, October 22, 2006

WWII , Japanese Secret Army

 


I think I have a real reason why during WWII , Japan can conquer Malaya in such very short time.
Cheh.. the Japanese is cheating, they used secret army: the Robot...

Big Wok !!

 

Alamak !! Really big wok laa..
I mean they surely need a big wok to fried the egg , rite ?

Thursday, October 19, 2006

I found Pikachu !!

 
Finally , I found you.
Ladies and Gentlemen;
The creature in the Pokemon is not just an imaginary..
it is real..
here I present.. the cutie pokemon : Pikachu !!

Black Hole that will suck you !!

 
OK.. let guess.. what is this ?
Err.. something that will affect your appetite..
wild guess , anyone ?
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Eeekk !!! Gelinya !!!


Only for Adult !!

 
No words to describe..
it is all depens on your imagination..
Share with us , your "imagination"..

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Middle East Chronology

 

Who has controlled the Middle East over the course of history? Pretty much everyone. Egyptians, Turks, Jews, Romans, Arabs, Greeks, Persians, Europeans...the list goes on.
Who will control the Middle East today? That is a much bigger question.
Maps of War, takes you, the viewer, from 3000 B.C.E through the present, 2006 C.E. It’s also constantly updated with the ever-evoling conflict issues. If you have any confusion over the conflicts in the Middle East and the history surrounding it, watch this presentation.

Great Raya advertisement

 
Poignant advertisement from Petronas for this coming Raya.. Kudos to Petronas for always having shown delightful AND meaningful advertisements during festive seasons, but, this ad really takes the cake.
Is this another Yasmin Ahmad's masterpiece ?
Errmm .. anyone know what is the name of the malay song that played as a backgroud music ?
Could you pls share with me ...
Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri kepada muslimin dan muslimat..
Maaf Zahir dan Batin


Selling Islam for 20 cents ??

 
Another thought from Rockybru's blog reader

Several years ago an imam moved to my area. He often took the bus from his home to the downtown area. Some weeks after he arrived, he had occasion to ride the same bus. When he sat down, he discovered that the driver had accidentally given him twenty cents too much change.

As he considered what to do, he thought to himself, you better give the twenty cents back. It would be wrong to keep it. Then he thought, oh forget it, it's only twenty cents.. Who would worry about this little amount? Anyway, the bus company already gets too much fare; they will never miss it. Accept it as a gift from Almighty Allah and keep quiet.
When his stop came, the Imam paused momentarily at the door, then he handed the twenty cents back to the driver and said " Here, you gave me too much change."
The driver with a smile replied, " Aren't you the new Imam in this area? I have been thinking lately about going to worship at your mosque. I just wanted to see what you would do if I gave you too much change."
When the Imam stepped off the bus, his knees became weak and soft. He had to grab the nearest light pole and held for support, and looked up to the heavens and cried "Oh Allah, I almost sold Islam for twenty cents!

Remember, we may never see the impact our actions have on people. Sometimes we are the only knowledge of Quran someone will read, or the only Islam a non-Muslim will see. What we need to provide, Insya Allah is an example for others to see.

Be careful and be honest everyday, because you never know who is watching your actions and judging you.

Respect and Understanding

 
A real story by Rockybru's blog reader:

When I was a kid, I brought home a Malay classmate who lived in the kampung nearby. After having fun on the lawn, we were all sweaty and hungry. My mother wanted to go to the shop and pack some food to treat us to “mee mamak” and “teh tarik”. My friend declined. My mother coaxed him, but he still declined.
Then my mother seemed to understand my friend’s concern.
She said to him “How about roti canai? You can eat straight from the packet – no need to use a plate. How about a bottled drink? You can drink straight from the bottle – no need to use a cup.” My friend nodded shyly.
Later, we were in the kitchen, eating with our hands, and chatting away happily.
I learned from my mother to respect my friend.
I learned that my friend had learned from his parents not to use crockery in a non-Muslim house.
I learned that he must respect his parents and what they had taught him.

One small lesson, but it brings two young people a lifetime of mental evolution.

Unbelievable scene found in a hotel

 
Based on a true story...
something had happened in the hotel A , room 0124 yesterday .
After Mr. A_F check out from the hotel room , the cleaner perform her daily routine..
cleaning the room..
and guess what is waiting for her ?
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the BUAYA DARAT !!


Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Man is Animals..

 

try to count how many animals in the "face"...
err.. actually I dont have the answer..
but.. I count , 26 animals lor.. how bout u ?

Elephant Climb Tree

 
Ever wonder whether elephant know how to climb tree ?
Guess no more.. they can !!!!
Dont believe me ??
See this laaa... no ladder , right ?

Fauzi Takaful: Tarik Balik Haram

 
oh...ooohh.... at last; the uztaz ciplak ( I said ciplak becos even the Perak Mufti and the Selangor vice Mufti also disagree with his "fatwa palsu" ... sin during Ramadhan.. teruknye.. )
But... is this only what Takaful will do ? ermm... do you think this is enough ?

** note the sentence that Ayatollah Fauzi used ? "Saya ingin menegaskan bahawa emel berkenaan merupakan pandangan peribadi saya dan bukannya pandangan rasmi Takaful Malaysia"
Masih tak bertaubat lagi.. ish-ish.. tak tau laa apa nak jadi dengan budak nii..

Buah cempadak di luar pagar,
ambil galah tolong jolokkan,
Saya, Fauzi Mustaffa, uztaz baru belajar,
kalau salah tolong maafkan...

Monday, October 16, 2006

Takaful Malaysia : TAK Haram dah !!!

 

Takaful Malaysia made a U-Turn.. No more Haram...

I wont say it is a victory but i would say that it a very lucky day for all the peace lover Malaysian , except those with katak bawah tempurung mentality.. especially.. the Ayatollah Fauzi, wonder what is happening to him ? Anyone got any insider news on him ?

Takaful Malaysia would like to stress that the contents and views of the email regarding the Deepavali Greetings do not in any way represent the views of Takaful Malaysia.
As per Takaful Malaysia’s previous statement on the issue, we would like to apologise for any confusion and ill-feelings that may have arose from the email. Takaful Malaysia wishes that this issue has been clarified and solved following the views attributed to Sahibul Samahah Perak State Mufti and Selangor Darul Ehsan State Mufti as reported by The New Straits Times on 15th October 2006 (It’s no sin to say Happy Deepavali).
Last but not least, Takaful Malaysia would also like to take this opportunity to wish all Malaysians of Hindu faith a very Happy Deepavali.
Thank you.

Perak mufti Datuk Seri Harussani Zakaria ( who is also a National Fatwa Council committee member), said it was not blasphemous to extend wishes to someone celebrating a festival."There is nothing wrong if we (Muslims) wish our non-Muslim friends, Happy Deepavali, Merry Christmas or Happy Chinese New Year.
[via: NST]
p/s: siapa yg lebih layak ?
Mufti atau Pegawai Takaful Malaysia ?
Ahli Majlis Fatwa Kebangsaan atau Penasihat Jabatan Syariah Takaful Malaysia ?

How to Beat Your Wife The Islamic Way

 
"Two male friends attended courses recently where the ustazah taught them how to beat their wives the Islamic way. Take a towel, tie a knot at one end and beat her all over, except her face. If she is pregnant, you can beat her anywhere but her stomach!"
-Snippet of Zainah Anwar on Friday: Stemming the 'I divorce you' trend-
Well.. what ever is the reason behind the action of 'whacking'... I am going to show the husband the fingers of Fury !!
Dont beat laa.. direct ............... Talak Tiga !! ( make sure you dont ask for cina-buta later )...
BTW...
Rileks laa

Out of Office Replies

 
There will be a long holiday for DeepaRaya next week ( yes.. I am using DeepaRaya.. so what ?? ) , and definitely some of you will need to setup the auto-out of office reply..
OK, you may choose from here..


1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position.
2. I'm not really out of the office. I'm just ignoring you.
3. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.
4. Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors having my brain removed so that I may be promoted to management.
5. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you sendme until I return from vacation on 4/18. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
6. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged RM5.99 forthe first ten words and RM1.99 for each additional word in your message.
7. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over).
8. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system.You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply inapproximately 19 weeks.
9. Please reply to this e-mail so I will know that you got this message.I am on holiday. Your e-mail has been deleted.
10. Hi. I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by yourPC for my response.
11. Hi! I'm busy negotiating the salary for my new job. Don't bother toleave me any messages.
12. I've run away to join a different circus.

AND, FINALLY, THIS ONE TAKES THE CAKE;

13. I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medicalreasons. When I return, please refer to me as 'Siti' instead of'Rashid'.

No More McD !!

 

Oh No !!! No....... Plsss......... No !!
What is happening ???
No more McD ......... becos "he" have been arrested by police..
Wuuu haaa...
No more.. "I'm Lovin It"

Sunday, October 15, 2006

How to Make A Man Happy

 
After the post of "how to make a woman happy" , a reader of AskForFun have asked me to list out another post of how to make a man happy...
OK....
here is the "list" :
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1. Leave him alone

How To Make A Woman Happy ?

 
To make a woman happy, a man only needs to be:
1. A friend
2. A companion
3. A lover
4. A brother
5. A father
6. A master
7. A chef
8. An electrician
9. A carpenter
10. A plumber
11. A mechanic
12. A decorator
13. A stylist
16. A psychologist
17. A pest exterminator
18. A psychiatrist
19. A healer
20. A good listener
21. An organizer
22. A good father
23. Very clean
24. Sympathetic
25. Athletic
26. Warm
27. Attentive
28. Gallant
29. Intelligent
30. Funny
31. Creative
32. Tender
33. Strong
34. Understanding
35. Tolerant
36. Prudent
37. Ambitious
38. Capable
39. Courageous
40. Determined
41. True
42. Dependable
43. Passionate
44. Give her compliments regularly
45. Love shopping
46. be honest
47. be very rich
48. Not stress her out
49. Not look at other girls
50. Give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
51. Give her lots of time, especially time for herself
52. Give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
53. To never forget:Birthdays, Anniversaries and ......

Thursday, October 12, 2006

What is Friend for ?

 


Friends may not be able to pull you UP..
BUT
They will think of ways, not to let you FALL

Takaful Malaysia: STILL Haram !!

 
Cheh.. what do you mean ??? It seems like Takaful Malaysia is standing on the semi-fatwa side. " for the purpose of internal circulation and as an advice or an opinion for our staff only."
Doesnt this mean that Takaful Malaysia agreed that it is Haram to wish Happy Deepavali ??
What happen to the uztaz ?? Maybe get promoted.. ayatollah fauzi!!

Assalamu Alaikum and Good Day
We would like to refer to the email that purportedly represents Takaful Malaysia’s view regarding Deepavali Greetings where the said email has been widely circulated among internet users through email distribution and several weblog sites.
Takaful Malaysia hereby would like to inform that the said email has been sent by our Shariah Dept. staff for the purpose of internal circulation and as an advice or an opinion for our staff only.
The contents and views expressed in the said email therefore are not Takaful Malaysia’s official stand, and definitely are not an edict or final reference for use by any unrelated parties.
In relation to this, Takaful Malaysia would thus like to request all parties which have received the said email to refrain from forwarding it to other parties in order to avoid any further misunderstanding and/ or misinterpretation. We also wish to apologise to all for any confusion that may have arisen from the misinterpretation of the said email.
Thank you. Wassalam

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Musical Condom

 
The picture tells the tale—that's right, it's a musical condom. Its tone varies with your position and intensity... so ; cannot say anything.. no word to say anymore..

A Ukrainian scientist has invented a condom that plays music during sex.
Hryhory Chausovsky developed the birth-control device as a novelty and as an aid for more pleasurable love-making, he said.
A miniature loudspeaker and motion sensor implanted in the condom's upper cuff provides a range of musical tones during sex. Music volume depends on intensity of love-making and tone varies based on the sexual position.
"The condom's sound is directly related to the emotional level of the users," he said.
The condom's main limitation, however, is primitive sound quality, similar to tones produced by first-generation cellphones. Testing has shown no danger of electric shock to users of the device, Chausovsky claimed.

Management..........no eye see !!

 
On walking into the factory, the CEO noticed a young guy leaning against the wall, doing nothing.
He approached the young man and calmly said to him, "How much do you earn?"
The young man was quite amazed that he was asked such a personal question, he replied, none the less,
"I earn RM2,000.00 a month, Sir. Why?"
Without answering, the CEO took out his wallet and removed RM 6,000.00 cash and gave it to the young man and said, "Around here I pay people for working, not for standing around looking pretty! Here is 3 month's salary, now GET OUT and don't come back".
The young man turned around and was quickly out of sight. Noticing a few onlookers, the CEO said in a very upset manner, "And that applies for everybody in this company".
He approached one of the onlookers and asked him, "Who's the young man that I just fired?"
To which an amazing reply came of,
"He was the pizza delivery man, Sir...!!!"

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Update on the Takaful Malaysia : Haram..

 
Update on the Takaful Malaysia : Haram.. post.

An e-mail from Takaful Malaysia’s Syariah department head Fauzi Mustaffar forbidding Muslims to wish Hindu friends Happy Deepavali is a narrow interpretation of Islam, says Minister in the Prime Minister’s Department Datuk Dr Abdullah Md Zin. [via TheStar]
In particular, the last paragraph reads: "When contacted for his comments, Fauzi said the e-mail was in response to enquiries from employees and was only meant for internal circulation."In not so many words, the person stands by what he wrote in his e-mail, internal circulation disclaimer notwithstanding.

If extending greetings to a non muslim, who his celebrtaing his festival is not permitted in Islam, what about doing business with a non muslim! Is that allowed in Takaful Malaysia ?

Explaining that it was an internal memo advising takaful staff, is clearly not enough. The CEO of takaful should take action against( terminate ) the officer who hold such views, cos' if does not do that, it shall become the stand of Takaful Insurance Malaysia.
Which means non muslim co. & individuals doing business with Takaful should reconsider their business relationship with this company.Who knows if in future an officer of the company might just decide not to pay out Insurance claims to a non muslim cos, it might not be permitted in Takaful Malaysia's Islam ??? Will this happen ?? I dont know , you better find out with Takaful Malaysia yourself..

Start the boycott campaign now !!!
Do not take the Takaful Mortgage Insurance offered by HSBC.......


Who is Fauzi Mustaffar ?
Answer: Secretary of the Shariah Supervisory Council , Takaful Malaysia.

Takaful Malaysia: Haram..........

 

OK... now here comes another moron.. but this round is a Corporate !!
WTF.... wish Happy Deepavali also cannot arrh ?? These are the moron that spoilt the Islam's image.. next round is cannot talk with non-muslim.. diorang kafir.. nanti nafas ada bau bxbx... then you better live in another planet laa... takda otak....
Talk no more... start boycott the Takaful Malaysia !!!

An official of the Syariah Department at Takaful Malaysia has confirmed issuing an e-mail discouraging the Muslim staff of the public-listed company from wishing its customers "Happy Deepavali" as it was against the syariat.
Issue linked from: walski69
p/s: Will CIA start investing the Takaful Malaysia since there is some terrorist mentality in their management?

Monday, October 09, 2006

Just need to pay RM5 - Cinema Ticket

 
Community Service Announcement:
GSC GURNEY PLAZA 2006 BLOCKBUSTERS RE-RUN SHOWTIME 05/10/2005 TO 18/10/2005(RM 5.00 FOR ALL DAYS ALL SHOWS)
The movies offered................. here !!

Smart Sabahan

 
Filipino, Indonesian and a Sabahan are in a bar one night having a beer.
The Filipino drinks his beer and suddenly throws his glass in the air, pulls out a gun and shoots the glass to pieces.
He says "In Manila our glasses are so cheap that we don't need to drink from the same one twice."
The Indonesian [obviously impressed by this] drinks his beer, throws his glass into the air, pulls outhis gun and shoots the glass to pieces.He says "In Jakarta we have so much sand to make the glasses that we don't need to drink out of the same glass twice either."
OUR Sabahan, cool as a cucumber, picks up his beer and drinks it, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the Filipino and Indonesian.
He says "In Sabah we have so many Filipino and Indonesian that we don't need to drink with the same ones twice."

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Car for Road Bully

 

A special car designed just to provoke the malaysian's famous car bully..
Drive it on the road and be ready to be the news on tomorrow headline.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Ever wonder why.... ??

 
The more I learn about English , the more I get blur..
Can some one pls enlighten me on these.. thanks!!

1. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
2. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
3. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
4. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?
5. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
6. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
7. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

New Toilet Signs

 





Yo !! Yo !!
Ladies and Gentlemen,, open your eyes wide-wide ( hehehe DBP only fine the bahasa rojak user , not for english rojak user.. so neh-min laa.. just remember.. masa balik kampung, jangan potong Q , oppss )..
OK . back to the main point. There will be several new toilet signs to be chosed from instead of the dull curut man sign.. Weet weet.. cantik ka ?

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Terrible News

 

An image of terrible news that have been flying around especially on thursday morning..

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Malaysian Chinese have been marginalized

 
Yeah... Lee Kuan Yew is correct.
Malaysian Chinese have been marginalized.
Please refer to the statistic :
The Chinese population in Malaysia is about 25% , if we follow the Khairy's theory , there should be about 8202 drug addict among chinese.

** Updated : I am not racist or anti-malay , but just would like to show to all of you that Khairy's theory is totally not acceptable..

Dancing Image on IE

 

**updated.. , the "spell" should be working now...

Try this. Its really nice!!
1) Open any website.....which contains images ( ex. http://askforfun.blogspot.com/ or site which contains images)
2) Copy above given code and paste on the Address bar of the same browser window and press enter ............
3) All images will be dancing ......

**For Internet explorer only

Monday, October 02, 2006

Men vs Women Talking

 
TWO WOMEN TALKING:
Woman 1: Oh! You got a haircut! That's so cute!
Woman 2: Do you think so? I wasn't sure when she gave me the mirror. I mean, you don't think it's too fluffy looking?
Woman 1: No, it's perfect. I'd love to get my hair cut like that, but I think my face is too wide. I'm pretty much stuck with this stuff I think.
Woman 2: Are you serious? I think your face is adorable. And you could easily get one of those layer cuts - that would look so cute I think. I was actually going to do that except that I was afraid it would accent my long neck.
Woman 1: Oh - that's funny! I would love to have your neck! Anything to take attention away from these football player shoulders of mine.
Woman 2: Are you kidding? I know girls that would love to have your shoulders. Everything drapes so well on you. I mean, look at my arms, see how short they are? If I had your shoulders I could get clothes to fit me so much easier. ............ ......... . ...

NOW TWO MEN TALKING
Man 1: Haircut?
Man 2: Yeah.

Sunday, October 01, 2006

Only Eat Managers

 
A big corporation recently hired several cannibals in the interest of cultural diversity.
"You are all part of our team now," said the HR rep during the welcome briefing. "You get all the usual benefits and you can go to the cafeteria for something to eat, but please don't eat any of the other employees."
The cannibals promised they would not. Four weeks later, their boss remarked, "You're all working very hard and I'm satisfied with you. However, one of our shipping clerks has disappeared. Do any of you know what happened to her?" The cannibals all shook their heads no.
After the boss left, the leader of the cannibals said to the others, "Which one of you idiots ate the shipping clerk?" A hand rose hesitantly, to which the leader of the cannibals continued, "You fool, for 4 weeks we've been eating Managers and no one noticed anything, but Noooooo, you had to go and eat someone who actually does something!"

Wrong Diagnosis?

 

A man with stomach pains goes to the hospital. The doctor tells him it's constipation and that he'll need to use suppositories. The man is instructed to drop his pants and bend over, where upon the doctor shoves the tablet up his behind.

"You'll have to do the same thing every six hours for a week," says the doctor.

Later that evening, the man is having difficulty inserting another suppository and decides to ask his wife for help. He tells her what to do, then drops his pants and bends over. She proceeds to put one hand on his shoulder and with the other shoves the suppository home.

"Damn!" screams the man.
"What's the matter?" she asks. "Did I hurt you?"
"No," he replies,
"but I just realized that the doctor had both hands on my shoulder"

Hint: where is the other "third" hand comes from ???
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